Tuesday, August 14, 2012

when i have time to think

I've been pretty depressed lately. Not in an 'i need to seek help' sort of way, 
but in an 'i feel alone and wish i was still in Florida' sort of way.

The day I landed in Utah, after spending 6 magical months at Disney World, i stepped right into a busy, crazy lifestyle that kept me going, and kept Disney off my mind for about a solid month. I changed my hair color, I drove to Price and bought an apartment. I caught up with friends from home, I spent a week with friends from Disney. I unpacked my suitcases, and packed up my every belonging and moved out (mostly, sorry mom, I'll get those boxes out soon, i promise). I celebrated my twenty-first birthday, and started nursing school in the same month. I was doing great, and Disney crossed my mind not nearly as much as I thought it would.

But now i've been home two months, and i've been living in Price for one of those months, and Disney has invaded my mind. And since taking my final exam on Friday of last week, it's been almost all-consuming. When I have time to myself, to sit and think. To look at my life, where i am, where i was, i get serious Disney-Depression. It's not fair to myself, i know.  I know i should be thankful for that amazing experience, and focus on being thankful for this new experience that i've been dreaming of all my life.My problem? This new experience can't hold a candle to Disney. I have every hope that soon, in two weeks, it will. Once fall semester starts up, and I am busy, making new friends, and learning new things, i have no doubt i will have the time of my life. But right now, this very moment, i'm sad, alone, bored, and depressed. 

I can't be alone. I get depressed. I need to be with people, or at least studying or reading a book. When i'm doing nothing, i think, and when i think, i think of Mickey Mouse and how much my heart misses the Place Where Dreams Come True. 

I can't sit and wait for my Gold Ticket. I've got to get out and find things to occupy my mind with. 
I  will be forever grateful for the Disney College Program, and how it changed my life. I am also grateful for the chance to go to nursing school, and I really can't wait to dive head first into school.

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